Espada Prank Wars
by fanfictionusername
Summary: The Espada play pranks on each other but who's leading? R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Now, this could turn have a chapter 2, but only if you review. (but of course i you didnt like it then...)

In Which Espada play pranks against each other

grimmjow: aizen, is there a reason why you're pulling a meeting in the middle of the damn night?

ulqiuorra: grimmjow...im sure aizen-sama has a good reason for this

stark: we're gonna get bags..

szayel: idiot be it day or night you always sleep

nnoitra: can we go back now?

grimmjow: what's a meeting when we're all damn asleep?!

aizen: now now once we get to the point we can all go to our rooms, gin.  
(calling for gin aizen has retreated to the stairs, towards his room...)

gin: that aint fair..well since tousen and aizen are sleepin i'll be holding the meetin!

halibel: this night cant get any worse

barrangan: snore

grimmjow: at least some of us are sleeping

gin: shush! well now since im too lazy to explain to all of you nitwits (szayel: hey!) i'll just hand out papers with the instructions...(starts to distribute papers to espada)

all 10 espada peeks into paper with baggy eyes...in fine print is written:

Espada Prank War (not a game)

All espada must participate in Prank War, absentees will be labled a nickname unique to each espada. Rules are simple; Absolutely NO help from fraccion.  
Participants may use a variety of pranks so long as you dont kill each other.  
The Winner will be announced by the end of the week meaning the war right now.  
Referees will namely be Ichimaru Gin and Kaname Tousen. Happy Pranking.  
Signed, Aizen Sosuke P.S. im the judge

gin: and there ya have it!

yammy: this is stupid

gin: you're stupid

Aaroniero: since we all got the message can we please leave now!  
gin: oh yeah right ya'll can leave now! Oh and dont forget tomorow we'll have another meeting!!

THE NEXT DAY

aizen: right. everybody here?

gin: yep

aizen: good good... as for to- wait... where are grimmjow and nnoitra?

gin: oops

(nnoitra is still snoozing off)

nnoitra: ZZZZZZzzzz...

grimmjow: snicker snicker

(grimmjow sneaks in with a bowl of warm water in hands, placed one of nnoitora's hands in bowl,  
got out some honey and rubbed some on nnoitra's armpits -with gloves-, and shoved all contents of itchy powder into pants -inside underwear-, had a few chuckling fits, and finally leaving the scene of the crime)

grimmjow: hehehe...im so screwed XD

(aizen is impatiently tapping table while gin and tosen play a game of wordplay whilst other espada fool around)

aizen: what is taking them so long?!

Aaroniero: maybe they're already playing pranks on each other

stark: zzzz...

gin: aww... tosen despite being blind you're really good at this!

tosen: :)

(grimmjow sonidoed into the room with slightly itchy elbow)

aizen: and where have you been?

grimmjow: ehehe... just doing my job

(the moment grimmjow sits down, nnoitra busts into the room with sticky armpits, wet pants, with his fingers in his butt, scratching like it's the end of the world)

nnoitra: WHO THE -BEEEEP- SNEAKED INTO MY ROOM!!

(everybody stares dumbfounded -well, except grimmjow of coures- until...)

barragan, grimmjow, aaroniero, yammy, stark, szayel, zommari, gin, and aizen: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

tosen: ?

halibel: ... :)

ulqiourra: ...trash...literally

nnoitra: -BEEEEEP- who did this??

grimmjow: hahahahahahahaha!!

nnoitra: it was you!! (cue punch)

grimmjow: dude it's a war (dodges punch)

aizen: :)

gin: hehe, 1 point for grimmjow (writes something into paper)

nnoitra: ARGH!!(leaves room)

(everybody hold back giggles -except for the ones mentioned above-)

aizen: well i suppose everyone has a good idea of what this means...

gin: GAME START!

(szayel whispers something to grimmjow)

szayel: he said 'game'

TO BE CONTINUED...?

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okay, i got the prank ideas from the internet again; thanks for reading REVIEW (even if you'll just complain about my crappy skills).


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: i dont own bleach**

R&R or whatever

Szayel walked silently through the hallway, and saw Yammy seeing an 'Out of Order' sign in a flooded bathroom; Yammy then scratches his head, and walks away to find another bathroom. Szayel had the perfect prank for that blockheaded dimwit.

Yammy walked to the water fountain to get a quick drink, and saw a sign that said, "This water fountain contains 100 Hydrogen Dioxide." He then walked away feeling confused.

Yammy walked to a door that led to the next hallway, and saw another Out of Order sign printed and stuck to the door with duck tape. He walked to the next door, but it also had the sign, since he was getting impatient he just kicked the door out of his way and trudged along the hall...wait a minute, nothing's out of order here.  
Yammy realized he has been duped. "One point for Szayel..." Gin said softly to himself as he wrote something on a paper.

"Hahaha! that meathead Yammy..." Szayel said to Aaroniero (who is in Kaien Shiba form).

Aaroniero and Szayel were in the dinner hall and Aaroniero rubbed vaseline on one of the chairs that Halibel always sat on, Szayel just looked at Aaroniero with an all knowing look and left. As soon as it was dinnertime Aaroniero signaled for everyone to look at Halibel and when she did sat down, nothing happened and Aaroniero got confused and he would check her chair again later. As he sat down he felt his butt slide and turn 180 degrees and on landed face first on the floor. Naturally everyone but Ulquiorra laughed at him and he felt like screaming which he did.

Stark was skipping dinner as always and was snoozing off on top of a dozen pillows and woke up when he heard a scream, and the first thing he saw were a few pencils that Lillineth always used to poke at is ears whenever she was bored. After seeing them he got up, sharpened a pencil and headed towards where Szayel's lab was, the explosions and stuff always woke him up from that acursed place.

Stark was doing something simple, he got to the keyhole which locked Szayel's lab, poked the pencil in and broke of the lead. He was feeling lazy and didnt want to come up with some evil diabolical plan to sabotage Szayel's lab. Stark felt Szayel's presence coming closer and sonidoed out of sight, when Szayel got to the door he brought out a key but it wouldnt fit into the keyhole, he thought for a second to just bust the door down with cero but he remembered he created the door for that purpose so it wouldnt get busted down if an idiot wanted to sneak in his lab. He peeked through the keyhole and saw a piece of lead from a pencil and said to himself, "Karma is a bitch."

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This is a little short than the first chapter and if my sense if humor is depleting kindly tell me not that I really do have much of a sense of humor.

Thanks for reading though (and putting up with my constant blabber) :3


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I dont own bleach, or the pranks here. :D just borrowin...yeah thats right.**

Well I had fun making this chapter especially the phone pranks XD R&R!

It was early morning in Las Noches, everyone was still sleeping and probably gonna wake up around 10, Gin, Aizen,  
and Tosen specially woke up early to make some early morning coffee.

In Aizen's room was a coffee brewer that only him could operate and some sugar. Tosen was quietly munching on a piece of toast and Gin was waiting for their early morning coffee, until... Gin saw their mugs on the table,  
and saw that Aizen has forgotten to put the sugar in, Gin snickered and sneaked in salt on each of their mugs and put sugar on his.

"Gin..." Tosen realized Gin had done something but he couldnt figure out what.

Aizen poured coffee in all of their mugs. And they all drank.

"Hmm..." Aizen put down his coffee and said, "would you rather have some tea instead?"

Tosen just held his mug and walked away.

Gin snickered some more and walked away as well.

"...:(" said Aizen.

--

RING RING! The telephone rang beside Ulqiourra's bedside.

Ulqiourra got up from his bedside already dressed without creases (wow) and answered his phone, "Who's there?"

"Uhh... your house is on fire." Someone said over the line that sounded quite like Yammy.

"Trash." Ulqiourra hung up and the moment he did it rang again.

"What now?" Ulqiourra was losing patience.

"Is this pizza hut?" Someone that sounded retarded said it, maybe Grimmjow...

This time Ulqiourra just hung up and...got another ring.

"What?!" Yup Ulqiourra was definetly losing patience.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialido-" Nnoitra, definetly.

And Ulqiourra hung up yet again. And the phone rang on his last good nerve for the last time.

RING RING His eye twitched.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" Ulqiourra shouted (kind of) on the phone.

"Ulqiourra, I just wanted to remind you of the meeting this afternoon, is something the matter?" It was Aizen gasp!

"Oh..My apologies, Aizen-sama. Yes, thank you" Ulqiourra hung up, and went out for some fresh air.

END

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Thanks for reading hope you liked it! And remember; a good reader always submits reviews!


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's an update and the title of this website says a _lot_ of things...**

For some reason, Grimmjow was feeling sort of gassy this afternoon. Must be because of all those pizzas Grimmjow got from the real world. Thinking up a lame prank in record time, he went to Szayel's lab.

"Hey gaylord!" Grimmjow shouted to Szayel as he ran and possibly knocked off dozens of "things" on purpose.

"What do you want?!" Szayel snarled at him.

"Pull my finger and I'll leave." Grimmjow said offering his finger to Szayel.

So Szayel pulled his finger and Grimmjow farted (ew) on cue.

"HAHAHAHA!" Grimmjow walked away laughing hard.

"Oh that is just gross! You imbecile!" Szayel smelled a putrid smell that smelt like 5 kinds of rotten cheese.

("Just you wait Grimmjow Jager-quaks just you wait...") Syayel got out of his lab, took small packets of ketchup from his Mcdonalds happy meal and proceeded to follow Grimmjow.

Grimmjow made his way towards the restrooms, he really needed to do a number 2 right now and unfortunately, as he went in the stalls were full with only one cubicle left so he opted for that one. He pulled down his pants and the moment he sat down some red stuff squirted right on his bare legs...

"-BEEEEP- what the hell?!" Grimmjow yelled at the top of his voice. He looked on the toilet seat and there it was, small white packets that was jammed between the toilet and the toilet seat.

Szayel walked back to his lab saying to himself "Revenge is a dish best served with ketchup." Then gasped when he realized his dialogues were getting cornier by the second.

-KNOCK KNOCK!-

Someone was knocking on Nnoitra's room.

"Wha-" SPLOOSH! As Nnoitra answered the door a whole cake was threwn directly to his face.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Nnoitra wiped the batter of his face and stepped out of the room...and stepped on something squishy.

Nnoitra looked at his foot to see that he has stepped on some doggy poop!

"-BEEP-" Nnoitra said as he looked around outside and was hit by an egg on his one good eye.

"AGH!! MY EYE! WHO THE -BEEP- IS THERE?!" Nnoitra squinted as he another egg was thrown to him, this time he dodged it.

"HAH YA HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT! -BEEP-!!" Nnoitra briefly saw a shadow around the corner.

As he followed the shadow he was sprayed heavily on by...orange juice?

"GAHWLORO-LO-AH-" It was hard to decipher what Nnoitra was saying while he was being sprayed on the face.

When it finally stopped Nnoitra went to the source of the shadow and saw Aaroniero quietly reading a book behind a pillar...

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!! AAAAHHGG!!" Nnoitra seized an unsuspecting Aaroniero and they did what crazy and angry baboons would do.

"NNOITRA WHAT IN HUECO MUNDO ARE YOU SAYING?!" Aaroniero struggled to free himself from Nnoitra's grasp.

"I'M SAYING YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR MESSIN WITH ME!" Nnoitra was currently stepping on Aaroniero.

"WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!" Aaroniero was indeed confused.

And some more babbling till Nnoitra finally found out it really wasnt Aaroniero that messed with him.

"Then who did?!" Nnoitra was definetly more confused than ever. All the other Espada were currently on the other building of Las Noches. It was just him and Aaroniero, who couldve done it?

("Grimmjow? Nah he's got diarrhea, Szayel? he's busy examining the food from the real world, Yammy? he's too stupid to do that...Anyone else would also be impossible...") Nnoitra pondered on and on till he saw Ulqiorra passing by him with wet hands.

"..." Nah it couldnt be he's too emo for that. Nnoitra shrugged it off and proceeded to clean up.

END

**Thanks for reading and if you kindly review I might consider giving you some internet cookies... **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hm...I couldnt concentrate on writing this much cuz of the tv but I still hope it's okay :). **

It was another day in Las Noches, and as the days passed by the Espada were currently busy making fools out of themselves. In Stark's room, he was sleeping (not that anyone cared) while all the other Espadas except for Barragan,  
and Ulqiourra were as I said before, busy making fools out of themselves.

As Stark snored away, he felt the presence of someone coming in. Not that he cared it was probably Lillinette. (sp.  
Stark opened one eye and the presence was gone so he once again resumed his peaceful sleep...

-cocku-cocku-ckuuuu-ckuuuuu-cocku-and so on..

"Huh?" Stark wondered when he ever got an alarm clock, and stood up to turn off that irritating sound of an alarm clock. That is, if he could find it.

As Stark kept searching and searching for that irritating alarm clock, he realized he could just leave and find another place to nap, but he couldnt do that right now since he was sure everyone would disturb him and he was definetly NOT going to back down on this kind of thing. (how unusual..)

"god where is that annoying noise coming from?!" Stark said a bit annoyed while searching around the messed up room.  
"UGH this is so..." Stark found a small alarm clock taped underneath a table. "AHA!" Stark broke the clock and put on a smug before returning to his sleep, at least that's what he hoped for.

-insert stupid-sounding theme song-

"Grr.." Stark stood up again and began searching through the drawers...And found a small radio taped on the side.

"Heh, whoever's doing these arent trying hard enough." Stark threw the radio away and stepped on it, but before he could even lie down, another sound started to play; This time it was different, it was a replay of all the boring meetings Aizen held and it had a background music feel to it too.

"What the -beep-..." Stark searched and searched and searched till it was nighttime, yet he still couldnt find where the damn sound was coming from and this drove him nuts.

"The hell with it!" Stark left the room and hoped no one would come in the kitchen tonight.

As soon as he left Halibel snuck in and went to look in the ventilation system.

"That idiot Stark...haha.." Halibel reached her arm out and... couldnt find the the radio she kept hidden. Then the doors closed, with Aizen's blabber still playing.

"Oh snap." It was her turn to search around and find her self-installed radio since she didnt want to cause a commotion in the middle of the night by cero-ing the door down. And that radio was really expensive.

"Damnit..." Halibel proceeded to break the door down after an hour of searching and left to have Stark find it.

As Halibel exited the room she saw Ulqiourra reading a book nearby. Halibel stared for a second and took her leave.

END

**Yeah, thanks fer readin, and thanks to those kind people who reveiwed! XD Hope I get better at writing fanfiction soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter hope you like it! Thanks to those who reviewed.**

Nnoitra sneaked stealthily towards the kitchen and got out some meat and put ketchup all over it. He then went to the training area where Grimmjow was beating up a few arrancars.

"Yo Grimmjow come here for a second will ya!" Nnoitra gestured him to come.

"What do you want?" Grimmjow asked a bit annoyed.

"Here I want you to try this..." Nnoitra handed Grimmjow a plate with some meat on it.

"The hell, no way I'm eating that I'm not even hungry." Grimmjow crossed his arm and cracked his neck.

Nnoitra suddenly pointed to a random area and shouted, "Oh look someone's dying!!"

"Whe-?!" Grimmjow looked and Nnoitra quickly shoved the food in Grimmjow's mouth and somehow made him chew.

Grimmjow ate it and looked at Nnoitra.

"Is that chicken?"

"Sure is! Tasty no?" Nnoitra shoved the plate to Grimmjow.

"..." Grimmjow ate some more of the 'chicken'.

"All done?" Nnoitra got the empty plate from Grimmjow and left with a huge grin in his face.

"..." Grimmjow stood there stupidly.

Suddenly Nnoitra came back with a bucket in hand.

"Hey Grimmjow didnt that 'chicken' taste kind of odd?" Nnoitra put the bicket in front of Grimmjow.

"What are you planning?!" Grimmjow made a mental note to himself to be more cautious next time.

Nnoitra just snickered.

"HOLY -BEEEP-" and Grimmjow then took the bucket and puked out some cat meat.

**People, dont try this at home...CATS ARE NOT FOOD.**

Somewhere in the white halls that all look the same Ulqiourra went to the lounge and sat down to read a book.

Aaroniero went in shortly after and sat in front of Ulqiourra. He was also there to read.

"Capsule-headed pervert" A weird high-pitched voice suddenly told Aaroniero.

"Excuse me?" Aaroniero stared at Ulqiourra.

"What is it that you want?" Ulqiourra said not looking up from his book.

"Oh nothing..." Aaroniero eyed Ulqiourra suspiciously.

"Freaky two-headed imposter" A completely different voice told him again.

"What was that?!" Aaroniero grasped Ulqiourra's collar.

Ulqiourra just looked at him indifferently.

"Ugh.. It's nothing..Excuse me.." Aaroniero left Ulqiourra to himself.

"Weirdo..." Ulqiourra said that and continued reading his book.

END

**Thanks for reading and the second scene there was a completely different one but it ended up too gross so I changed it :D.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is kind of short but I'm sure you'll all tolerate this much...I hope.**

That night Szayel was surfing through the net randomly clicking on stuff that pops up and suddenly someone sends him an e-mail that said "Pink-haired gaylord."

Szayel furrowed his brows and replied, "What kind of meathead are you?"

"Beef." The unknown sender replied.

"-beeep-" Szayel replied promptly as he was getting irritated.

"Pervert." The sender replied.

"Weirdo." Szayel replied.

"At least I'm not a perverted gay." The sender replied.

"At least I'm not weird beef." Szayel replied.

"Correction, at least I'm not a lame perverted gay." Ouch.

"You know what, I'm gonna beat the crap out of you." Szayel replied as he traced the location of the sender.

"I've got you now.." Szayel replied and headed towards the lounge.

Szayel opened the door, and turned on the lights. "I'm gonna tear you apart so bad there's gonna be nothing left.." Szayel stalked around but there was no one there.

"Whoever that -beep- was better sleep with one eye open tonight." Szayel then stormed out of the room and went back to his room.

As he entered his dark room he made his way to the computer. He moved his cursor...

"Hmm.. it seems this low-level machine has crashed down on me..." Szayel restarted his computer but he still couldnt click open his files.

"Damn this piece of shit!" Szayel just couldnt scrap this computer since he transfered all his data onto it.

"Damnit!" Szayel hit the keyboard with his fists, it seems he realized someone had snuck in and messed with the computer.

Somewhere nearby Grimmjow spied Ulqiourra walking with a book that said, "Hacking for Dummies"

"What the hell do you need that for?" Grimmjow asked Ulqiourra.

"It is nothing of your concern." Ulqiourra walked away when they both heard what seemed to be Szayel's voice saying "damnit".

END

**Here's what Ulqiourra did... First, you go to the computer's desktop and push Print screen on the keyboard, then copy paste it to microsoft paint or something like that, set that picture to desktop background and delete all the visible icons on the screen. **

**Sorry if that was just plain lame, I think I'll soon experience a writer's block...whatever that is.. Thanks for reading though! And review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I've decided to end the story since I dont want to think/search of any more pranks befitting the Espada (It's tiring) and I hope you're all okay with that! It was fun while it lasted, and I'll possibly make a special chapter after this. **

The week was over and the Espada gathered in the meeting room as promised 7 days ago.

"Where the hell are they?" Grimmjow crossed his arms.

"They're late.." Halibel replied.

"I'm sure Aizen-sama has a good reason to their tardiness." Ulqiourra said.

"I'm sure Aizen has a good reason to be retarded" Grimmjow muttered softly.

Ulqiourra glared daggers at him.

"Now now let's just behave and wait patiently like the good little kids we are." Stark said absentmindly.

Then everyone everyone glared at him and it was so intense sparks could be seen across the table.

Aizen passed by the room and stared unbelievably at the table; all ten Espada were currently present and without his supervision at all. It's like they were preparing for a meeting or something.

"What brings you all here of short notice? I dont remember planning a meeting today." Aizen said. "Gin, Tosen!"

"Sup..." Gin walked slowly to Aizen while staring at the Espadas.

"Yes, Aizen-sama." Tosen also came in and sensed the presence of all ten Espadas.

"Is there any meetings planned for today?" Aizen asked.

"Nothing important..." Gin glanced at the Espada then at Aizen.

("Those shitheads...") Grimmjow thought and Nnoitra was probably thinking of the same thing.

"Aizen-sama, I believe that you planned something childish last week." Tosen then explained it to Aizen.

("Childish?!") Szayel thought angrily.

"There was something like that?!" Aizen said in amazement.

("-Beep- you Aizen for forgetting...") Stark thought dimly.

"My apologies but we cannot afford to play around like imbeciles, you are all dismissed." Aizen walked out of the room followed by Tosen.

"Ya cant help him, he's been nutty on the head lately, oh and congratulations to Ulqiourra anyway!" Gin grinned and shrugged his shoulders before following after Aizen and Tosen.

"..." The Espada were speechless.

Ulqiourra stood and swiftly left the room.

Everyone followed after Ulqiourra, cracking their knuckles.

END

**I hope this wasnt too rushed and thanks for reading!! I'm always welcome for reviews! **


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